Theresa Frasch writes a wonderful essay on her journey from Catholic child, to fundy young adult, to freedom from religion.
I was a pastor’s wife. I lived a Christian life. I did the Christian things. I believed the Christian doctrine. I did it all. I believed it all. Now I am not a pastor’s wife. I do not lead a Christian life. I do not believe the Christian doctrine. This is my journey.
Funny how this story resonates with me. A closely parallel journey to my own. Theresa's essay is worth the several minutes it will take you to read and savor.
I was afraid of what people will say if I threw it all away. I was afraid to admit to myself that I wanted to throw it all away. I called it god but with little letters. I didn't use it for anything; I never took it out of my pocket. If somebody questioned me I said I've still got it. I chose to hang on to that part for awhile. I chose to believe in god for a little longer. But certainly not the GOD of before, the GOD of rules and regulations, the nosy one, the all involved one, the one who makes men weak.
I chose to believe in a force outside of myself that kept things in motion from afar, one who set up the rules of the universe and lets us play them out. But then I saw that yarn hanging out of my pocket and I pulled out the last bit.
It is a wonderful place to be, free from the guilt and burdens of Christianity. I live my life fully and without question, enjoying the process of becoming who I am.
When that string, that last little thread, is finally gone from your pocket, the feeling of freedom is strong enough to make you cry with happiness. Nearly everyday I look back and wonder how I wound up in those chains, and I am ecstatic that they are gone.